Encyclopaedia Mythologica
by Lord-Velocinyx
Summary: A compendium of various manuscripts containing all the little tidbits you always wanted to know about your favorite monsters, gods, heroes, etc. The embarrassing secrets of all mythological beings revealed. Rated T for some suggestive themes.
1. Exhibits 1, 2, 3

**Part I - The Bestiary**

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><p>The Bestiary contains all the mythological monsters you've grown to love to hate.<p>

_Exhibits 1-3_

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><p><em><strong>Exhibit I. Scythian Dracenae<strong>_

_Quote unavailable because our quote gatherer keeps disappearing whenever we send him to these guys. Maybe if we tried a girl instead...__**  
><strong>_

_Vital Statistics:_

English Name: Scythian Dracenae

Greek Name: Δρακαινα Σκυθια

Latin Name: Dracaena Scythia

Parents: Gaea

Notable Offspring: Skythes, Agathyrsos, and Gelonos by Heracles (ew)

Kolaxes by Zeus

Short Description: As Godzilla's dream girlfriend and Medusa's cousins twice removed, these monsters hold the reputation of being both dangerous and ugly.

_Appearance:_

As we all know what Medusa looks like, it makes it a little easier to picture Scythian Dracenae, since both have similar traits such as green skin, snakes for hair, and an insatiable hunger for human flesh. Some men say that these are beautiful women and some have even slept with them (like Heracles), though most have been scared away as soon as the clothing come off. From the waist down, two serpentine tails reminiscent of octopus legs take the place of feet.

_Occupations in the Modern World:_

Most Scythian Dracenae have left their homeland of Scythia and have spread across the globe. Let it be known that wherever these creatures are found, it gives female rapists a new meaning. We will leave that information open to interpretation, since if we told the truth, you will be emotionally scarred for life. Trust me.

_Occupation in the Ancient World:_

They were the leaders of the Scythian tribes, until Heracles came along and started a line of kings to replace them. No wonder they hate men as much as Artemis.

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><p><em><strong>Exhibit II. Macrocephali<strong>_

_"Who are these _things _again?"_

_**"**My emperor, I believe we've found aliens." _- Nero and his advisor after visiting a tribe of Macrocephali_**  
><strong>_

_Vital Statistics:_

English Name: Macrocephali

Greek Name: Μακροκεφαλος

Latin Name: Macrocephalus

Parents: Epaphos and Gaea

Notable Offspring: Only within their own species, fortunately

Short Description: While a long neck is a mark of beauty (according to Aphrodite), this tribe must've taken the goddess's advice too seriously. Not only do they have a long neck, their heads are also twice as lengthy then the average human skull. You'd think that this would make them twice as smart, but sadly, these guys still don't know the difference between boxers and panties (as evident by some of the men's choice of undergarments).

_Appearance:_

A tribe of Africans/Indians that have extremely long necks and heads. Just don't mention their strange physique, and you should be fine. The emperor Nero accidentally did, and look what happened to him! He burnt his own city down, and said he would defeat his enemies by dancing!

_Occupation in the Modern World:_

They roam around the Sahara, in search of people who could insult them, just so they can drive them mad.

_Occupation in the Ancient World:_

They roam around the Sahara, in search of people who could insult them, just so they can drive them mad. (some people never learn)

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><p><em><strong>Exhibit III. Talos<strong>_

_"Talos big and strong! Talos not let you get Europa! Talos - Why is Europa all squished up like that?" _- Talos after he stepped on Europa**  
><strong>

_Vital Statistics:_

English Name: Talos

Greek Name: Ταλως

Latin Name: Talos

Parents: Forged by Hephaestus as a son, probably because he couldn't attract any women at the time

Notable Offspring: Why on earth would you ask for the offspring of a bronze giant? ...can they even make babies?

Short Description: While a giant naked man forged from bronze would usually belong in a museum (if not a porn magazine), this guy just doesn't get a clue. Maybe it is because of his parentage that he is emotionally retarded, or just the fact that he's an automaton.

_Appearance:_

A giant with an awesome tan. He's as clueless as Percy sometimes, since he pelts approaching things with rocks (even potential girls). He is the last generation of the Bronze age of men. No wonder those guys got wiped out.

_Occupation in the Modern World:_

This giant has settled down as a little statue in the gardens of Versailles. He has gobbled down the occasional royal family member, which usually causes catastrophic wars across Europe.

_Occupation in the Ancient World:_

As a gift to Europa from Zeus (yeah Zeus, I totally wanted a giant bronze statue…), it seemed to be more of a curse for Europa. It basically destroyed any chance of Europa having a good love life after Zeus just dumped her on Crete. That is, until Jason and his Argonauts came in and destroyed it. Europa's cause of death is uncertain, though she may have been accidentally stepped on by her giant protector.

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><p><strong>Any suggestions on the next few? I need at least 3, maybe 4.<strong>


	2. Exhibits 4, 5, 6, 7

**Encyclopaedia Mythologica**

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><p><em>Part I - The Bestiary<em>

__Exhibits 4-7__

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><p><em><strong>Exhibit IV. Daimones Chrysean<strong>_

"_You've been a good boy today. Let me reward you…" _- A female Daemon before she gives her 'reward'.

_Vital Statistics:_

English Name: Daimones Khryseoi/Daimones Chrysean

Greek Name: Δαιμονες Χρυσεοι

Latin Name: Daemones Chrysei

Parents: Gaea

Notable Offspring: no offspring whatsoever. The word "sex drive" is as foreign to them as the concept of death.

Short Description: These are the spirits of the so-called Golden Age of man a.k.a. the first failures of god. Why failure? Because they all died out. Why you ask? Because god forgot to give them a sex drive. You'd think the gods (who are basically sex addicts) would've remembered to do this, but hey, I'm not a god.

_Appearance:_

These are spirits, so their appearances vary. Their name is very deceiving, because these spirits are far from demons. They reward people who are deserve it. They are the deceased of the Golden Age of Man, where there was no such thing as pain, strife, work, or even menstruation! Now wouldn't that be a great time to live in. And for the men, everyone walked around naked. Including the ladies.

_Occupation in the Modern World:_

They reward people that are deserving. Unfortunately, there are still only 30,000 of them, and some 7 billion of us, so they must have a forty eight hour work day and a slave driver as a boss. They've also started handing out punishments to, to prevent another Rebbecca Black from rising to fame.

_Occupation in the Ancient World:_

They rewarded people that were deserving. Back then, their work schedule was much more relaxed. More time to watch gladiator fights.

_Daemon or Demon?_

Ever since the spread of Christianity, there has been a little teensy bit of confusion between Daemon and Demon. Daemon in ancient Greek means knowing, or wise (like Athena). Demon is not a little red dude with a pitchfork, contrary to popular belief. They are the personification of evil. So where did this confusion start?

Daemons are supernatural beings who are almost always benevolent. Christianity just took the word and replaced the benevolent part with malevolent. Must've been a mistake with the wording there when they were still writing down the bible, eh?

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><p><em><strong>Exhibit V. Ladon<strong>_

"_Curse you Ladon for giving me this scar. As revenge, I shall start a ghastly rumor about you! Haha!" _- Heracles, after his first attempt to obtain a golden apple.

_Vital Statistics:_

English Name: Ladon/Drakon Ladon

Greek Name: Δρακων Eσπεριος

Latin Name: Draco Hesperidum

Parents: Phorkys and Keto, or Typhon and Echidna

Notable Offspring: Sadly, as the only one of his kind, Ladon has no children.

Short Description: Ladon is your typical dragon x100. That's right, it has one hundred heads, enough to put the Hydra to shame while giving a killer glare. Supposed brother of the Nemean Lion (there's a lot of controversy over this topic), Ladon guards the Gardens of Hesperides. He has never been killed - that's right. Whoever created that rumor that Heracles killed him can go to hell!

_Appearance:_

What more can be said about a once hundred headed dragon - er drakon? (It doesn't like to be called a dragon). Green serpentine scales, one hundred heads that miraculously never get tangled, and so much energy that it never sleeps. It is said to love all things golden. Its brother, the Nemean lion pales in comparison. Of course, don't tell the lion that…unless you want to be mauled.

_Occupation in the Modern World:_

It guards the Gardens of Hesperides, though one of its heads can usually be seen in a hot spring, spying. Spying on what, I can not say.

_Occupation in the Ancient World:_

It guarded the Gardens of Hesperides, and gobbled up any hero who dared pass his sights. Yep, back then there was a lot more meat.

_His Secret:_

He's extremely lonely. I mean, who wouldn't? Imagine you're the last human, your parents (who aren't human by the way) abandoned you, and all you do is sight next to a golden apple tree who's fruits you can't even eat? Unfortunately, he's not much of a people's person either. His hobby? Eating heroes.

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><p><em><strong>Exhibit VI. Cerberus<strong>_

"_Ugh, why did you have to adopt that mutt Hades? He just drooled all over my dress!" _- Persephone, berating her husband for the...we've lost count.

_Vital Statistics:_

English Name: Cerberus/Kerberos

Greek Name: Κερβερος

Latin Name: Cerberus

Parents: Typhon (sometimes) and Echidna

Notable Offspring: We have another loner here. Not only is he the only one of his species, he can't even leave the Underworld!

Short Description: Those humans can't count right. They say Cerberus is fifty headed, then one hundred headed, then three headed. Maybe they were counting the snakes of his tail as well. Cerberus is Hades' Hound and guards the entrance (as there is no real exit) to the Underworld. Life was good back in the day when Hades used to play with him. But now with the Underworld overflowing with people, Hades has better things to do then to hang out with a mutt.

_Appearance:_

Black fur, an innumerable amount of heads (humans have agreed that there is more then one), serpents and snakes for a tail, and titanic in size. Meet Cerberus, the Hound of Hades. He's usually stuck in the Underworld, mostly since the last time he was out, he sunk the Titanic in one of his nightly swims. Hades, naturally was enraged that there was a sudden influx of dead people and hasn't forgiven Cerberus ever since.

_Occupation in the Modern World:_

He guards the Underworld, but there has been no soul brave enough to challenge him yet.

_Occupation in the Ancient World:_

He guarded the Underworld, to prevent heroes from entering and leaving as the pleased. It was much more fun back then. More huma - er food to eat.

_Triple Headed Does Actually Mean Tri-Polar_

With three heads, Cerberus is constantly arguing with itself. Oh no, left face wants to eat the pork today. Oh no, center face needs to pee. Oh no, right face made me step on a mortal. Whatever shall we do? The only thing that they can agree on is that meat is good, and balls are fun. Sticks? Nah, he tried bathing in that river before. In burnt his fur so badly that it didn't grow back for a year!

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><p><strong>Exhibit VII. The Sirens<strong>

_"Look for my daughter damn it!"_  
><em>"B-but, you turned us into birds!"<em>  
><em>"So you can look for my daughter! Duh."<em> -Demeter and the Sirens

_Vital Statistics:_

English Name: Sirens/Seirenes

Greek Name: Σειρηνες

Latin Name: Sirens

Parents: Akhelios is the father for sure, though the mother is arguable. Though with children as ugly as the Sirens, I wouldn't reveal myself either. Others say the mother is Gaea (again)

Notable Offspring: They never mated, since they ate every sailor that fell for their charm. Tragic love. Sigh.

Short Description: The Sirens were bird-women with deceivingly beautiful voices. They were like harpies in a way, though their voices could conjure up more then a few menacing screeches. To their credit, they weren't always birds. Demeter gave them wings to search for her daughter Persephone. An unfortunate side affect of this spell was their hunger for flesh.

_Appearance:_  
>They appear as birds-of-prey with the heads of beautiful women. Sort of a cousin of the harpies, they lured sailors to their doom with their beautiful voices. There are two ways to get past the Sirens: One way was to drown out their music with something else (only two have been successful: Orpheus and Elvis Pressley). The other was an invention of Odysseus, ear wax. For obvious reasons, Odysseus is more known for the Trojan Horse then his invention of ear wax.<p>

_Occupation in the Modern World:_  
>Though they still lurk in the Sea of Monsters, they occasionally sneak out to appear as famous pop stars. After all, only they could make Ke$ha's horrible singing popular. Hint hint. Wink wink.<p>

_Occupation in the Ancient World:_  
>They sang. They ate. They sang. They ate. They sang. They…well, you get the idea.<p>

_Persephone and the Sirens: Rivals for Eternity_  
>The Sirens have never truly forgiven Persephone for making Demeter turn them into birds. So just to spite her and her husband, they killed every sailor that dared pass their way (Underworld overflow anyone?). What other reason would they have for eating human flesh. I mean, a baby's flesh I can understand, but past the age of fifteen, human flesh is just revolting. Uh…I'm not speaking from experience here. Just a little note that the Sirens passed on to me.<p>

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><p><strong>I'm having a lot of fun writing this. Thanks for the suggestions everyone!<strong>

**Some of you have suggested gods and people. While I'll eventually write about those, this part (The Bestiary) is only for monsters.**

**Review...and I might add an extra exhibit to the next chapter. ;)  
><strong>


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